Week 5

So, I have a Word document (password protected of course) on my desktop which is entitled ‘stuff for blog’. Basically anything that I find interesting, weird, unusual etc goes into the word document and then I use it to write these posts.

Currently it reads: Sleeping on desks at lunchtime, early lunches/dinner, Daniel Bedingfield, turtle, Internet, Truman show, immaturity, expat shopping, and Heinz Salad Cream.

So I’m not sure any of them would make a full blog post so let’s go through them here one by one instead:

Sleeping on desks at lunchtime – I already mentioned this one on Facebook but I find it totally bizarre. It is perfectly normal to put your head down on your desk at lunchtime and have a little snooze. Considering we’re supposed to work 9-6 but most of the Chinese guys turn up at 10, it seems a little bit excessive to me.  However I quite like it. When I was hungover back in the old days, having a little kip would have sorted me right out. It’s also the position of it that makes me giggle. It is literally ‘I can’t keep my head up any longer.’ Hands down my sides trailing over the chair and head face down flat on the desk in front. For me personally, I’d be worried I’d start snoring or dribbling or talking – especially if you were dreaming about something you shouldn’t be dreaming about…

Early lunches/dinner – this is a weird one. It seems to be that lunch is at 11.30/12 and dinner is at 6 (ie some people have both at work). I’ve had lots of co-workers tell me don’t ever go to a local restaurant late as they will have ran out of food as everyone eats so early.

Daniel Bedingfield – bet you haven’t heard that name in a while?? I just found it funny that someone here has ‘If You’re Not The One’ as their ringtone. As in that whiny, nauseating, annoying hit of his from about 12 years ago (feeling old yet??)

Turtle – not content with having a kitten in the office, someone else has a turtle. It lives in a fridge salad drawer (not in the fridge I might add) under someone’s desk.

Internet – actually that would make a whole post. Let’s leave that one for now.

Truman Show – more of a very strange thing that happened but clearly I thought it noteworthy as I wrote it down. Firstly, there is a digital clock on the metro train I get every day that is stuck on the 14^th June 2014, which was the day I flew out here. Secondly, on Tuesday, I nearly got ran over by an Audi with the numberplate ‘NS’. Do you ever feel like you’re in your own version of the Truman Show?

Immaturity – bit of a mass generalisation but girls here seem very immature (note that I said girls not women). It’s perfectly normal for girls in their late 20’s early 30’s to wear pop socks and jelly sandals with glittery butterflies on them with frilly mini skirts. And if they fall out in the office everyone has to take sides and they will scream (and I mean scream) at each other. It’s like being back at the High School sometimes.

Expat shopping – by this I mean food shopping. There are supermarkets that cater purely for expats, and they are normally located on the bottom floor of expensive shopping centres with names like ‘City Super’ and ‘Ole!’ (with the exclamation point). They’re clean, polite and hugely expensive. On the other side I went to a Carrefour yesterday (like a French Hypermarket) and it was loud, dirty and people all over the place. And assistants just stand in the aisles so every time you walk down one they pull stuff off shelves and try and put them in your basket. That’s quite weird. But the difference in cost is massive, so I’ll be going to the loud dirty place from now on.

And finally Heinz Salad Cream. You can’t get it anywhere!!!!!

Week 4

Last week was the first week I really felt like I ‘lived’ here. I caught myself at various points just looking around myself, and smiling. This place is so random, so messy, so all over the place – and I’m starting to love it.

So last week was the week I discovered the bars….as I mentioned last time, I went to a mixer and met various people, one of whom was a Canadian guy (Mark) who’s here one month every year. Nothing like that, late 40’s, happily married etc just a really friendly guy. Anyway we swapped WeChat details and he sent me a message saying he was going to a Canadian dive bar. So I kind of invited myself along (I was quite tipsy).

This bar was above a hairdressers’. Not even joking. It had pool tables, apparently normally it’s a comedy club too, and for every beer you bought they were giving away promotional underpants. Very very weird.  Anyway, I met some people that Mark had met over his month here – who were lovely. Two of them were married – an English girl and an Irish guy – they were drunk, bonkers and completely lovely. The English girl drank and swore so of course we got on brilliantly. They were off on their honeymoon but we swapped numbers so hopefully we will catch up when they get back and when I get back from the UK. We ended up going back to theirs and having a couple of drinks with another Canadian guy, his Russian wife and an American neighbour.  Then of course getting a cab was horrific at 1.30 in the morning, to the point where the taxi driver was trying to tell me he didn’t know the road I was telling him, despite being one of the main roads in the area.

I also went to a Brits Abroad mixer at a British pub called Abbey Road. Well they said it was a pub but it wasn’t it was essentially a wine bar (I don’t think Chinese people ‘get’ pubs – there was no red velvet sofas with holes in and my feet didn’t stick to the floor). I was concerned that Brits Abroad would be like ‘Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents’, or a load of football hooligans but actually it was the exact opposite. It was lots of married couples who have come out to Shanghai together, normally with one ‘trailing spouse’ ie they’ve moved for a job, normally the husband’s – and so are not working themselves. It made for an interesting evening. First I was told to go inside the bar because that’s where all the ‘young’uns’ were –which means 21 year olds that have just finished uni and have come to see mum and dad. Which is fine but they were all into the all night raving and dance music that I am just too old for!!! So I ended up sitting with the ‘older’ people (who were all closer to me in age anyway). What I found was their experience of Shanghai was, for the most part, completely different to what I have experienced so far or what I’m hoping to experience. For example, they all live in Pudong and rarely venture this side of the river. Only shop in the upmarket supermarkets (where things like a bag of pasta is 4 quid). One couple I spoke to had gotten a taxi over to the bar - it was raining so getting a cab was difficult. Mine cost me 16 RMB, theirs cost them 100. To do about another mile and a half. Why? Because the driver saw them as easy money and jacked the price up. And they paid it, because ‘it’s only a tenner and we needed the cab’. I would have told the driver where to get off and gotten another one.

And then Saturday. Not much during the day and then a housewarming party for someone from work – they live in the French Concession, which is the desired neighbourhood for expats (but is quite far from work, that's why I didn’t bother). She has what’s called a Lane House, which is a traditional Chinese house, no compound, no high rise, Chinese neighbours etc. It was impossible to find, and you had to walk through a Chinese family’s kitchen to get to it – but what a shock when you did – it was completely stunning. Over 3 floors, with a mezzanine for the bedroom, lovely integrated kitchen/diner etc. I had serious house envy. Until I went back to my place and saw my security guard J

Anyway, couple of drinks there and then off to an Aussie bar called Big Bamboo with Mark and a couple of his mates. Ended up meeting some guy from Pret a Manger in the UK who’s here one week a month so we’re going to go out for drinks next time he is here (again, married with kids, don’t get too excited). Not sure what it is but bloke expats seem to be a lot friendlier than girls….

So I ended up leaving Big Bamboo at 3am and walking home (it’s about 5 minutes). Anyone who knows me knows I never walk alone anywhere in the dark – I have no qualms about doing it here. Everywhere is so well-lit, loads of stores are open 24/7 so there’s always people around. Weird but I feel completely safe. I did contemplate going into the 24 hour KFC near my apartment for a late night/early morning snack – but when I peeped through the window the server was asleep on the counter so I didn’t want to disturb her! (Probably better that way).

And then yesterday I ended up walking about 5 miles and sweated it all out – I went past the Jade Buddha Temple (not to be confused with Jing’An Temple) which was a strange experience. It’s a beautiful building but they seem to be in the throes of demolishing it – or demolishing everything around it. The actual building still seems to be intact, but the facade on either side is half torn down and there just seems to be a pile of rubble behind what’s left. Probably making way for another skyscraper but that’s quite sad in my opinion. There’s not a massive amount of character left in that part of Shanghai, and looks like they’ve just ruined it.

I also went to a department store that called itself ‘the Chinese furniture equivalent of Harrods of London’. I took that to mean it was pretentious and overpriced, and indeed it was! I bought a bin. My favourite thing about the entire place was the benches they provide for you to rest on when you’re a bit tired – they already have bronze statues of old men sitting on them. Not really sure why. This place is so random!

Little victories...

An additional post this week but it’s been a busy week!

There’s something Joe (my boss) said to me and it’s stuck and I wanted to share it. He said that every day here, every little thing you do is like a small victory. And he’s right it is. I never thought I would get so excited about going in a supermarket, ordering food in another language, getting a taxi driver to understand me or going on the subway would make me feel so proud, but it does! I think because even doing the simplest things here is so much more complex than it would be at home, when you do it right there’s a real sense of achievement.

So yes I finally braved the subway. And it’s fine. I’ve managed to go mostly at slightly off peak times and it’s been no worse than London in rush hour. But when it’s busy it’s a little bit crazy. And – and my London friends will appreciate this – the trains have air-con! And a mobile signal! So even though you’re crammed into someone’s armpit (or they’re crammed into mine as I'm taller than everyone else) it’s still quite cool and you can check your email.

Oh, and it costs me 30p each way to get to work. Yes I miss my Audi but at least I’m not paying 1.35 a gallon for a 60 mile round trip any more. I just have to put up with someone standing on my foot or flipping their hair in my face whilst I’m trying not to whack anyone with my laptop bag.

Talking of small victories, I forced myself to go to an expat mixer last night. It was horribly daunting walking into the bar on my own, knowing how much I normally hate schmoozing and knowing that I had no choice but to not be shy and talk to people.  I had a couple of glasses of wine and got chatting to some really lovely people –namely a couple of Canadian guys who were giving me loads of tips about living in the city, and then a couple of young American guys and a Brit I ended up playing some dice game with – which is hugely popular here and I have to learn apparently if I’m going to be living here. Of course, it involved counting so I was completely rubbish – but not as bad as the Brit guy who lost 5 times in a row. But I think I got the hang of it so if there is a next time, I’m set. I shared WeChat details with the Canadian guys and they’ve invited me to a charity dinner thing in August which would be good.

And on that note, WeChat is awesome!! It’s like What’s App on steroids – you can send photos, videos, games etc, chat to multiple people, make phone calls and video calls from it –it’s so nifty. The best feature is the QR code, which seems quite old school but it’s the new version of putting your number in someone’s phone. All you do is go to your settings on WeChat, load your QR code then the other person scans it and then you’re WeChat buddies. Love it!

Additional: I wrote this on Thursday and it’s now Sunday – I’ve had a pretty crazy and random weekend but I’ll talk about that next time!

So, I am writing this from my new apartment. Very exciting! Didn't realise just how much I’d hated living in a hotel until I woke up this morning and just felt so much calmer and chilled out. I feel like I’m really here now, instead of just visiting. Which is scary but also pretty cool.

The apartment. 7^th floor, 2 bed (well one bed and one study/sofa bed), 2 bath, kitchen and lounge/diner. Plenty of space for me – and believe it or not my clothes and shoes too. My shipping boxes arrived last Saturday as well which was a great moment – I’d packed a box full of ‘home stuff’ i.e. pillows, quilt, photo frames, special wine glasses, little ornament-y things, and that has made a huge difference just having my stuff around me, makes it feel more like home.

I also have something which is quite popular here; a ‘functional balcony’ (which is how they describe it in the listings). Basically there’s a door off my kitchen with a closed in (but outdoor-ish) space that contains my washing machine and my boiler. Hilariously, this being Chinese building techniques, my boiler has a steel pipe protruding from it, to accommodate this (and release all the noxious gases outside –no wonder  the environment is so bad) they’ve cut a hole in the glass window. Amazing. I’ve also been told I have to leave the kitchen door open when I’m at home to make sure the boiler can eliminate the gas – yeah right. Judging by the size of the mossies out here, my doors aren’t getting opened ever.

So I said I was going to talk about language lessons and sartorial choices last time…let’s start with language lessons and I’ll do sartorial choices next time as that may take a while. I’ve had five Mandarin lessons so far, and I’ve learned some of the key basics – how to order beer (pijou), ask for the bill, where the bathroom is, how to yell at a taxi driver. It’s difficult but no more so than any other language. In some respects it’s easier because there’s no masculine/feminine difference a lot of the time. For example he/she/it is the same word. Therefore I’ve been told not to get offended when someone calls me Mr Smith. What is interesting is the same word will have about five different meanings, the difference is in the pronunciation, which you can tell from the accents on the words.

Numbers are interesting too. When I first bought my Chinese sim card, I was asked which phone number I wanted and depending on which one I chose, it would be less or more expensive. It’s because the number ‘4’ is deemed bad luck and the numbers ‘4’ and ‘7’ together can be seen as offensive for some reason (can’t remember why, think it’s something to do with the word ‘shit’). Anyway – guess what my phone number is? It has a 4, and a 7, and they’re next to each other, no wonder it was cheap. I’m also living in block 4 of my compound so I’m just inviting trouble, although there’s no floor 4 in my building. Or 14, 24, 34 etc etc. But there is 40^th. Not sure why that’s OK.

So all in all I’m doing better. Every time I look out of my office window and see the Pearl Tower it reminds me that I have been given the opportunity of a lifetime and I need to grab it with both hands. Can’t wait to see where it takes me J

Breaking news from this week – I saw the sun! The sky was blue and the sun was shining – it’s amazing how quickly you get used to hazy grey days. So this was literally a breath of fresh air.