3 month review

Last weekend was my 3 month anniversary – I cannot believe it has gone that quickly but I have been here three months. I went for a drink this week with someone who’s just got off the boat, so to speak, and they asked me when it was that I started to feel at home here and like I’d got it sussed out. Up until that point, I hadn’t realised I had but asking the question made me realise that yes, I feel quite at home now, and I have picked up enough tips to be able to advise other people, which is a very strange feeling.

Of course, Shanghai will never be home and I would never want it to be, but I love being here, which in those first couple of weeks I wasn’t sure was going to happen! Time seems to be flying, if I decide to only stay for a year; I’m a quarter of the way through already which is crazy.

So it seems like a good time for a re-cap – a review of some of the things I’ve learned living here:

1.       Forget everything you think you know. Nothing, and I mean nothing, prepares you for the craziness that is living here. It’s insane. It’s busy and messy and dirty and noisy and there are some days you feel like you’re living in a Baz Luhrmann movie, but it is nothing like you anticipate it will be. The Western world’s perceptions of China, and what China actually is, are two completely different things.

2.       Don’t judge things here by your normal standards. By that I mean if someone told you in London to go to an art show in the basement of a shopping mall, you’d think it was Crayola pictures done by 5 year olds at the local school. Here, it is one of the best exhibitions I’ve ever seen. So keep an open mind.

3.       Look forwards, backwards, sidewards, above and below when crossing the road. You never know what might be coming your way.

4.       Say yes to everything – at least at the start. So far I’ve done everything from cocktails on the terrace overlooking the Pearl Tower to tequila in the street. It’s those kinds of nights that make you glad you’re here (not so much the next morning).

5.       Do the touristy things. It’s easy to get caught up in the day to day – wake up, go to work, come home, and go to bed. Doing the touristy stuff reminds you why you’re here in the first place and it’s important to remember that.

6.       Skype as many people at home as often as you can. Skype and Facebook have been my lifelines. And knowing there’s someone there at the end of the day to talk to makes a bad day a whole lot better.

7.       Form your own opinions. This one’s really important. When you’re a newbie it’s easy to read the forums, listen to what your colleagues say who’ve been here longer, and believe what they say. And a lot of time what they say will make complete sense and be the truth. However there are things I’ve been told that once I’ve explored for myself I don’t necessarily agree with. So listen and take advice, but also find things out for yourself. Which leads me onto number 8:

8.       Don’t assume that people who have been here longer than you know everything. Last week I told my friend who has been here four years about the bill paying website. She had no idea and neither did her colleague who has been here 2 years. So that made me feel quite smug!

9.       Learn some basic language. Even if it’s just ‘stop’ to taxi drivers or ‘thank you’ or ‘where is the bathroom’.

10.   Don’t assume it’s all going to be sweetness and light. It’s not. Some days you’re going to want to scream and slam your head into the wall. It’s all part of it.

In other news, I’m debating changing my name to Nicole, which is what I get called constantly, even in emails where my name is clearly displayed.

Next time, I take a foray into expat dating....